It has has been a busy year for local artist Antoinette Cauley.
In February, she won first place in ArtLink’s juried exhibition for her painting, “Excuse Me I Have On Too Much Jewelry.”
In March, she premiered her current series “Ain’t Nobody Prayin’ For Me” at the MonOrchid on Roosevelt Row. She was on this month’s cover of Java Magazine and two weeks from now, a documentary about her life and artworks will be premiering at the gallery.
“It’s a rollercoaster,” she said of her new-found notoriety. “Sometimes you feel crazy…how can I go from this pure excitement and joy to depression…all within the same month?”
Her current series, 14 months in the making, features prominent male rappers depicted as little girls. Shocking at first blush, it’s just the right mix of provocative and adorable.
But the story beneath the tatted-up little girls sipping lean is Cauley’s personal journey with loss and childhood trauma.
“I had to grow up too fast and it made me angry and so I pour it onto the canvas now,” Cauley said. “I really had to question, ‘Why am I turning little girls into rappers? Why does it feel good to put face tattoos on a little girl?’”
She didn’t set out to heal her childhood trauma through art, but that’s what ended up happening.
“Men are seen as more aggressive and stronger and more dominant and so that’s the role I’m stepping into out of hurt. I think that was the purpose of doing this work,” Cauley said, “So that I could heal, and I just didn’t know it.”
Her journey of art and self-discovery is also the subject of, “Somebody’s Prayin’ For Me,” the debut documentary of filmmaker Martez Cornelius.
Back at MonOrchid, hip-hop legends like 2Pac, modern favorites like Drake and Kendrick Lamar, and newer, Soundcloud-era rappers like the late XXXTentacion and Tekashi 6ix9ine are all represented.
Several of the rappers featured are extremely controversial and others have died very young in instances like shootings or drug overdoses. But the subject matter hasn’t scared too many people away.
“I really thought some people would be offended by these paintings and they haven’t been,” Cauley said. “It makes me question too, how much will society accept?”
While Cauley is a big believer in the idea that all controversy is good controversy, that’s not necessarily the goal of the series.
Outside of her studio, Cauley is active in her community, teaching art classes and mentoring young up-and-comers. She wants young girls, especially young girls of color, to feel powerful and confident.
When her models, largely girls of color, see their paintings for the first time, Cauley says the reactions are mixed.
“They’re either really weirded out or they’re like, ‘Oh my God, this is awesome,’” she said.
But on opening night last month at the MonOrchid, the tiny models were thrilled. One even showed up to the event with tattoos painted on her face to look more like her portrait.
The gallery was packed wall to wall and everybody wanted to get a picture of Cauley and the girls.
“The girls were pumped. They literally felt like celebrities,” said Cauley. “People were asking for their autographs…’Is the Kanye girl gonna be here?’…’Where’s the Tupac girl?’”
This year has been a whirlwind for the Phoenix painter, but it hasn’t been all roses. Last week, she lost one of her idols.
Rapper Nipsey Hussle, a major inspiration for Cauley and a frequent subject of her work, was shot and killed earlier in the week at his place of business in South Los Angeles. He was 33 years old.
Cauley met the West Coast rapper on two separate occasions and even presented him with his own portrait. She has lyrics of his music tattooed on her forearm.
“I’ve been having a hard time with it,” she said. “Today is… the first day I haven’t cried since it happened.”
To “paint out her emotions,” she said her next move is to paint herself as a little girl. She’s also planning to paint the members of Outkast, The Notorious B.I.G., Snoop Dogg, Lil Wayne and N.W.A. among others.
Cauley has big dreams for the future, “I definitely see myself with the trajectory that I’m on…hanging in galleries overseas…I think I’m going to be a force in the art world,” quickly adding, “And having a house on the mountain.”
Contact the reporter at Madeline.Ackley@asu.edu.
Madeline is the community editor for Downtown Devil and is a senior studying at the Walter Cronkite School. She is a local freelance journalist who primarily covers politics, policing, immigration and business. In 2019, she won first place in her category in the national SPJ Mark of Excellence Awards for her reporting on deported veterans in Tijuana, Mexico with Cronkite News.
