Devils’ Advocate: Graduating into a pandemic

In order to continue operating Downtown Devil, our staff had to relocate and adjust to working from home to prevent the further spread of COVID-19. Our editors and staff reporters will publish a column each week about how they adapted to the ever-changing normal that COVID-19 has created. This week, we start with DD community editor TJ Triolo.

At the beginning of this month, I never imagined that life would be like it is now. School was still in session, my friends from ASU were all still here, and as a graduating senior my biggest concerns were post-graduation plans and what I was going to do for fun in my free time.

Then spring break changed everything.

When ASU moved all classes online due to the coronavirus, this didn’t affect my coursework because I have no classes in person this semester. However, this ended up affecting my life heavily in other ways.

First two people in my main friend group didn’t come back after spring break ended, including one of my best friends. My roommate and other best friend, Morgan, came back from California at the end of spring break, but left to go home less than a week later when California instituted their stay-at-home order.

That same week, I found out the restaurant I work at part time as a server to pay bills began doing takeout orders only. In the same week, I lost my job and half of my friend group for an indeterminate amount of time.

At first, I didn’t take this change well at all. I started feeling anxious, little changes sent me into a panic, and I felt depressed. I had a hard time getting the motivation to do anything, and my thoughts went to some pretty dark places. After Morgan went home, my apartment suddenly felt less like home than any time I’d lived there since moving in. I needed to leave downtown for a while.

I spent the weekend with my family in Surprise, about 40 minute was emotionally distraught and actually started crying when I got into town. I may not live in Surprise anymore, but it felt as though I was really going home. It was some semblance of familiarity as it felt like my life was falling apart around me. I spent the weekend at my parents’ house, watching movies, playing games, going hiking, exercising and trying to recover. It turns out those couple days were exactly what I needed.

I had to fight off my extremely bad mood for a couple days, and it seemed easier and easier over time. By the time I went back to my apartment on Sunday, I felt far better. Since then, this week I’ve been adjusting to my new routine.

I’ve been spending time hiking and doing workouts at home with a kettlebell I bought to keep myself in shape, as I normally exercise five or six days a week. Honestly, this has probably been the single largest contributor to keeping my emotions under control. I’ve also found a new source of income temporarily as a Postmates delivery driver. While it’s not the level of income I’m used to as a server, it’s significantly helping limit the damage to my finances through graduation.

I’m also spending less money now that I’m not going out to bars and restaurants with friends as much, and I’ve cut back on buying luxuries and things that aren’t useful to me or necessary right now. I’m focusing on using what I already have for entertainment, namely my streaming accounts, board games, video games and social media.

In addition, I’m still making sure to get plenty of social interaction. I’m making sure to spend time with my friends who are still here in Arizona, see my family more and stay in touch with my friends who are out of state now through FaceTime and Zoom.

Unfortunately, graduation no longer means much to me as a special moment or large accomplishment. I now see it as finishing school and getting a piece of paper certifying that I finished, and I care more about getting my degree and getting it over with than celebrating at this point.

I still have plans for after graduation; Morgan and I are planning on taking a road trip to national parks in multiple states, but when we can depends on when the pandemic situation changes. I’ll also need time to either buy a camper van already or convert one from a regular van, as well as sell the Subaru Forester I drive currently.

Afterward, I’m not sure what the future holds for me. I’ve had a lot of different possibilities for my future run through my head, but during this time I don’t think I can truly make any plans. The economy is rapidly changing, and I’m not even sure what kind of job I’ll get eventually. Some experts are predicting a recession or economic depression, so I have no clue what kind of job market I’ll be walking into.

For now, I’m just relieved my mental health has stabilized a lot more; my therapist said he thinks I’m actually adapting to the rapid changes in my life remarkably well. This is a relief for me, as in the past I’ve had trouble adapting to large changes in my life. With the way the news is progressing, I don’t think it’s possible to say for sure what will happen in my life after graduation, let alone next week. As Twenty One Pilots says in one of their songs, I’m taking my time on my ride.